Create and implement clear digital boundaries for technology and device use

Now we know about the 4 x C’s, we need to look at how to implement boundaries to reduce exposure to them.

Boundaries are beneficial because they allow young people a level of certainty when it comes to family and societal expectations, however as we have also learned, they also allow for some autonomy and agency by the child within those boundaries. It is important that your child feels they have a voice in the discussion however, so don’t forget to give a little respect, to get some buy-in.

Some ways you can create good Digital Boundaries include:

• Discussing screen time limits and the importance of balance between the physical and virtual world (and why).
• Discussing what quality screen time looks like, and provoking discussion about the “opportunity cost” of being online. Ask them what they are missing out on in order to spend time online.
• Discussing your own experiences with technology, and how it has both positively and negatively impacted you.
• Help them identify unacceptable behaviours by others, and reflect on their own behaviour.
• Explain the impact of having poor or minimal boundaries. Give examples of what can happen, and how it can make people feel.
• Explain that online friendships and relationships have limits, and the need to respect and empathise with other people’s points of view.
• Consider implementing a digital device media plan or contract, and document what a healthy digital world looks like.
• Model healthy boundaries yourself for your child to see.
• Make digital boundaries visible by showcasing the digital device contract in your home, and regularly talking about boundaries in reference to it.
• Consider and discuss how digital boundaries reduce the risk of the 4 x C’s.

Tip: Use the third party advice trick and ask your child what advice they’d give to help someone else manage their digital boundaries too.

The secret to healthy digital life is all about balance. When we communicate boundaries with young people, we are supporting what they enjoy, while helping them understandard critical skills like communication, expectations and respect.

Discussing boundaries needs to be done through the lens of both positive and negative experience, and always with a balanced perspective. Where possible try not to catastrophize, impose your point of view and be judgemental about your child’s online life. Stay curious, and inquisitive and show competence and confidence (even if you have to fake it till you make it).